I have a friend who absolutely hates it when I refer to myself as fat. She will give me a stern look and tell me not to say that, as though it's some kind of malicious self-commentary. But personally, I find nothing offensive about the word fat. I am, after all, fat.
Female, brunette, lunch lady...no one would debate I'm all those things, and no one would expect me to take them as slights. I wouldn't be insulted if you called me middle-aged, loud or opinionated. I don't even mind bossy or controlling. Those are all adjectives that aptly apply to me, so why take offense? It is what it is...or rather, I am what I am.
Now that isn't to say that I wouldn't change some things about myself if it were easy to do...and that goes for my size as well. If I could snap my fingers and be thin, I'd so do it. I'd also be 5'7, have straight, gap-less teeth and be able to walk in heels. But it isn't that easy, and obviously I'm not interested in doing the work required to make the changes the old fashioned way.
Oh I know there are legitimate reasons why I should lose weight. Health, agility, longevity...all perfectly valid reasons indeed why I should drop fifty or a hundred and fifty pounds. But honestly, I just haven't come to the place in my own life...in my own body...where I've felt compelled to do what's necessary to get there. And I don't think that makes me a terrible person.
So no, I don't mind being called fat...when used as a matter of fact. I'm not expecting to be beaten over the head with the word or have it shouted at me for meanness sake. But I am, by choice, electing to see myself as I am and accept myself for who I am..of which, my size is, ironically, but a very small component.
I think in a world where people are stuck with all sorts of labels...some deserved and others purely derogatory...it is wise to honestly evaluate the ones applied to us. If they're true, why fight it? If they're true, but we just don't like it, then we should do something to change it or...excuse my brashness...suck it up.
The truth of the matter, as I see it anyway, is that the people who love me will love me at any size and those who don't care for me wouldn't be obliged to if I weighed less. And the bigger truth is that I am a lot more than simply my size...mostly wonderful things. I am a Child of God. I am a great wife and mother. I am a good daughter, sister, aunt, cousin and friend. I am smart, hard-working, insightful and personable. I have a vivid imagination and a way with words. I am an excellent cook (which certainly contributes to my fat issues). I could go on, but I wouldn't want to give you the impression I'm full of myself, although some would argue that I am. :-) But those things...coupled with or rather counterbalanced by the not so positive aspects of my character...are the things that really make me...me. If they happen to come in a plus size package, well so be it.
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