Monday, July 23, 2012

Ignorance is bliss

With two adult children, I'm learning to redefine my role as mother.  Being the mom of 'grown ups' requires one to engage in a very delicate balancing act where we learn to hold our tongues more and express our opinions less.  It means letting our kids make their own choices...and their own mistakes.  It means accepting that the day-to-day job of mothering is no longer necessary...and no longer desired by our offspring.  


As a bit of a control freak, this is a transition that I often find challenging.  My instincts tell me to swoop in when I sense danger, to protest loudly when I see a potential pitfall and to share every ounce of my infinite wisdom...whether it's wanted or not.  But I'm learning to exercise self-control in these areas...to react slowly to perceived threats and to wait until my advice is sought to offer it.  I actually think I'm getting pretty good at this intricate high wire act.  And the relationships that are growing among my husband and I, our adult sons and their mates are testament to it.


As evidence, my sons have started to reveal things about their teen years that I had not previously known.  Oh you know the kind of stuff I'm talking about...the stuff they got away with...the stuff I never suspected...the stuff I was probably better off not knowing.  It's nothing horrible...normal stupid boy things...like making a sling shot  to  shoot pencils into the ceiling tiles in the choir room...flooding the boy's locker room during P.E....and one son booby trapping the other one's locker so that a bottle of water dumped on him when he opened it.  They laughed and laughed as they shared story after story about their immature antics.   



And while I tried to act righteously indignant about some of their high school hi jinx, as any good mother should, I couldn't help but be flattered to be brought into the circle where previously, only their friends had been invited.  Events that would have been met with stern reprimands or grounding then could be shared openly and with a good chuckle now.  


And while some level of ignorance truly is bliss when raising teenagers, having relationships with my kids that are still growing and thriving now that they are adults is absolute blessedness.  

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