Gravity

I have this love hate relationship with Gravitational Pull...Gravity for short.  When I was younger, I hardly noticed him at all.  He was always just there, wherever I went, keeping my feet on the ground.  I guess I took him for granted mostly, knowing he'd keep doing his thing while I was doing mine.

But apparently Gravity doesn't much appreciate not being acknowledged.  He makes himself known quite a bit now, and not always in the nice, gentle ways he did before.  All the sudden, I notice Gravity playing tricks on me. 

Back in the 80s, Gravity was so passive he didn't even put up a fight against a big can of Aqua Net.  No matter how much I defied him with a teasing comb and sticky aerosols, he didn't do a thing to stop it.  But he's getting his revenge now.  Even my hair is flatter than it used to be.  It's as though he's tugging on it, refusing it let it bounce like it once did. 

Used to be that I'd never think twice about sitting on the floor.  Now, knowing that Gravity isn't going to let me up without a fight, it's a whole different story.  Getting off the floor these days looks likes a sad game of Twister.  I end up on all fours, literally pushing against Gravity to escape his powerful grip.  When he's especially clingy, I must resort to using the furniture to climb my way back to my feet.

Worst of all, he thinks it's funny to yank my flesh downward in the most unflattering ways.  I think it's his version of that classic high school prank, 'de-pantsing'.  His not so funny antics have everything settling just a little lower these days from my eyelids to my thighs and everything in between. 

I remember when bras and panties not only served their intended purpose, but they could do so while looking super cute.  Now, 'foundational garments' need extra hooks and wires and lycra control panels just to hope to hold things somewhat in their original places.   My hair may not bounce, but everything else sure does. Go figure.

It's amazing how Gravity can sneak up on a person, how quickly he can turn on someone and how cruel he can be.  And yet, given all that, the pros of my relationship with him so far outweigh the cons that I still am quite glad he sticks around.  

I appreciate you, Gravity...I really do.  Now will you please give me a break!?!