Public Bathrooms

Forty years and three children have wreaked havoc on my body in many ways.  But perhaps the most annoying relates to bladder control, or a lack thereof.  Let's just say, when I've got to go, I've got to go.  I can literally pee on cue.  Just passing a bathroom spurs the urge.  It is not a pleasant reality nor one I ever would have predicted when I was younger.  

I no longer take my ability to hold it for granted.  Something as simple as laughing or as benign as a sneeze can spell big trouble these days.  Many a day I have waddled in from work, precariously making my way to the bathroom, hoping beyond hope to get there in time.  When my kids were little, I called that the pee pee dance.  Now I call it the please don't pee pee dance.  

Unfortunately, this lack of control doesn't restrict itself to when I'm home.  So, out of sheer necessity, I have become quite the public restroom aficionado.  I have developed an odd appreciation for a good lavatory, as my Grandpa Hudson used to called it.  


I can tell you who has really nice restrooms and regrettably, who doesn't.  These are things one can only learn through experience.  Now, keep in mind, I'm a person who refers to my kids' bathroom as the gas station bathroom because of it's frequently unsavory conditions so I wouldn't generally consider myself a particularly picky restroom connoisseur. I can tolerate a lot. But there are some issues I think public restroom designers should take into consideration.


First off, no woman wants to straddle the stool to get the door closed.  I'm all for conserving space, but seriously, give us enough room to get in the stall without hovering over the toilet.  If the door scrapes the front of the john, it isn't good.  If we were standers instead of sitters, our behinds would be pressed up against the metal door, for Pete's sake.  Now how hygienic would that be?


Secondly, give a little thought to the placement of the diaper changing station.  I think giving mom a place to change that little tyke's dirty pants is a terrific idea, but must it be the main attraction upon entering the restroom?  Move that handy dandy little wall-mounted table into it's own stall or at least to the back of the room.  Junior may need therapy if memories of his bare bottom being exposed to everyone in the big box store ladies room surface later in his life. 

When one enters a stall and takes a seat, she isn't, at first, thinking about the placement of the stool behind the door.  But once perched upon that porcelain pedestal, poor stool location becomes not only obvious but often embarrassing.   There's nothing more disconcerting than finding oneself mid-stream and nearly fully exposed through the big ol' gap in the stall door.  If we wanted to be on display when we go, we'd just cop a squat somewhere.  Either narrow that crack or at least make sure there's no money shot for every one entering the restroom by placing the stool squarely behind the door itself.  


A hook of some sort is, in my opinion, a necessity in every ladies room stall.  I do not want to have to sit my purse on the bathroom floor or try to balance it on top of the sanitary napkin disposal box or hang it from my neck while I do my business.  It doesn't have to be anything fancy...just someplace cleaner than the floor and less likely to choke me to death than dangling around my neck.

I don't want a toilet paper dispenser that's so close to the bottom of the wall I can hardly get my hand up under it to get the paper free or so far away I can hardly reach it.  I don't want the dispenser to be so tight I can only get two sheets at a time.  If I need six squares, I want six squares, and I will fight to get them if I have to.  And I never ever want toilet paper that feels like sand paper.  I don't care what kind of budget a place is working with, two ply cannot possibly be the thing that puts a business in the red.  


I doubt the paper towel cost has been the ruin of many, if any, a business either.  I understand air dryers save trees and make less waste, but seriously, I don't have thirty minutes to stand there and try to get my hands dry.  Either upgrade to those wind tunnel type dryers or give me some actual paper towel please.


And while a need for cleanliness goes without saying, I'll say it anyway.  There's nothing more repulsive than dribble on the seats or an unflushed toilet.  It's bad enough when it's a relative leaving the mess behind, but when it's a perfect stranger...EGAD!  If you're big enough to use the big girls' potty, you're big enough to clean up after yourself.  


Ok, time for a bathroom break.  :-)